Paul, we just attended your service in London. It was a tremendous gathering—so many people showed up for you. The room was full, overflowing with love and remembrance. I could barely hold my composure, but I got to read a sermon for you. Still, it wasn’t enough. I had so much more to say, yet time was not on our side.
Thanks to brother Josh, who had the courage to stand up and speak, I managed to slip in and share a piece of my heart for you. But it didn’t feel like enough. I needed to say more. I needed to break everything down because my thoughts of you have been consuming me, filling my days.
I saw Adam, Noah, and Dawda—it was wonderful catching up with them after the ceremony. But I didn’t get to speak with Neddy, Phil, or Tawanda. Again, time was a constraint. And honestly, I don’t feel like this ceremony did justice for some of us—or for you.
Paul, I think your friends need another occasion, a moment where we can truly give our last words to you in a way that reflects who you really were. The you with your friends. The you who laughed, who debated, who vibed. The you who wanted to chill, to relax, to just be.
I don’t know, man… I think the South of France should be the place where we honor you one last time. What do you think? Am I doing it for you or for myself, Paul? Give me a sign.
Even after the ceremony, I still feel it. The weight of your loss. The service helped, but there’s still the burial, and beyond that—one final place. A place where your free spirit can settle. Where we can plant a tree for you.
Paul, I miss you, man.
There’s still so much to do. I need to contribute to your repatriation. I need to make videos of you. I need to keep your essence alive. Because, Paul, you meant so much to me.
And yet… I still cannot fathom why you considered me your best friend. Many people told me that I was, and I remember you saying it many times throughout our friendship, but I never accepted that title. You had so many friends. What made me your best friend? How did I deserve that? Why did you love me so much, man? What did I do?
I’m saying this because being considered a best friend by someone like you—someone so grand, so radiant—feels unreal. I feel beyond honored, man. It’s something I will never forget. Impossible to forget. You were a light, a beam, a charismatic force, and yet you chose me? What did you see in me, brother? I wish I knew.
There were so many people there, but I had to stand up. I was chosen to speak for you. And that feeling—being able to represent you—that was something magical. That was love.
Paul, I saw you on your journey of self-discovery. I remember the time when you took a deep interest in sports psychology, one of the only students who truly cared. I watched you evolve—from the young and naïve to the wise and insightful.
And as for that dream I had of you…
Paul, may that light bathe you, soothe you, and guide you—in all its glory, all its might, and all its wonder.
I love you, brother.
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