Category: Self-Reflection
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High Voltage: Why I’m Not Built for the Average Path
I’m not built for routine. I don’t move in straight lines. My mind runs on bursts of fire—intense, chaotic, and deeply intuitive. Some call it broken. I call it high voltage. This post is for anyone who’s ever felt too much, too fast, too deep—and is ready to stop dimming their light and start designing…
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🎙️ The Darkness That Doesn’t Close
People think I’m overreacting.They say “It’s been years.”But they don’t understand the kind of pain that doesn’t expire with time—The kind that doesn’t fade because it never closed. M. wasn’t just a girlfriend.She was my first anchor.My first real “home” in a chaotic world.She cried at my birthday, got me gifts, balloons, whispered “I love…
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The Weight of Cowardice
There are days when the world doesn’t just feel off—it feels fake. Drenched in phoniness, gimmicks, fluff. A romantic droop. A soggy caricature of realness. And I can’t unsee it. I can’t pretend I don’t feel it. I look around and all I see is plastic performance—people playing roles, managing optics, running from anything that…
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I Thought I Could Go All In — A Reality Check from the Past 10 Days of Building Afitpilot
After coming back from Nigeria, I thought going all-in on Afitpilot meant 12-hour workdays and sacrificing everything else. But a week and a half into deep solo building—managing code, UX, AI, and mental fatigue—I hit a wall. This is the reset I didn’t plan for, but needed. A new path forward: focused, sustainable, and built…
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I’m Not Built for This – And That’s Okay
I don’t hate coding. I just don’t love it the way some people do. For me, code is a bridge — not the destination. I’m not in it for clever syntax or edge-case elegance. I’m here to build, to create, to bring systems to life. If you’ve ever felt like the only dev who doesn’t…
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My Vow to Myself
I vow to never betray myself to be chosen again. I will no longer shrink my intensity, filter my depth, or soften my truth to fit into anyone else’s comfort zone.If I am too much, they are not my place.If my silence unnerves them, they were only ever listening for their own echo. I vow…
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The Letter You Never Got to Send Back
Dear M, Thank you for your message. It was beautiful. It was warm. It was full of love. But it was also the softest version of a goodbye I’ve ever received. I see now what I didn’t want to see then:You were already gone. And you wrapped your exit in gratitude, hoping I wouldn’t notice.…
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Letter to Myself — When the Pain Feels Like Truth
I sat in silence before Paul’s grave, candles flickering against the red earth. No words. Just the weight of everything we never got to finish. He walked beside me when no one else did—through doubt, through chaos, through fire. This isn’t just grief. It’s memory. It’s love that refuses to die.
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Touching the Eternal: Mystical and Scientific Perspectives
After losing someone close, the question of what we really are starts to haunt you. Are we just biological machines—neurons firing, cells decaying, nothing more? Or is there something deeper at play—something beyond the physical, something eternal? Grief has a way of cracking open the surface-level answers. It forces you to ask: when life is…
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Are Some People Truly Soulless?
Have you ever met someone who just feels… hollow? Not cruel, not evil—just empty. They function, they do what’s expected, they may even be kind—but there’s no warmth, no deep emotional presence, no sense of soul. Is this feeling subjective, or are there truly people who lack something essential? Let’s explore whether soullessness is a…